Good records aren't about building a case against the other parent. They're about having accurate facts if questions come up later about care, health, school or safety. Memory fades and stress distorts it. Notes written at the time are far more reliable.

What to record

• Dates and times of care, changeovers, and any missed or late handovers.

• Important events: illness, injuries, school concerns, doctor visits.

• Agreements made with the other parent, confirmed in writing.

• Anything that affects the children's safety or wellbeing.

How to do it well

• Write it the same day. Stick to facts: what happened, when, who was there.

• Leave out opinions and labels. "Arrived at 6.40pm, scheduled for 5pm" is stronger than "always late and doesn't care".

• Keep it in one place, such as a notebook, a dated document or a co-parenting app.

• Keep copies of school reports, medical letters and receipts for child-related costs.

Legal points to know

• In NSW, secretly recording a private conversation is generally an offence under the Surveillance Devices Act 2007 (NSW). Get legal advice before recording anything.

• The Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) restricts publishing information that identifies people involved in family law proceedings. Don't post about your case online.

• Never question your kids to gather information. It puts them in the middle.

Find out more: Legal Aid NSW · LawAccess NSW: 1300 888 529

This is general information only. Get legal advice for your own situation.